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Lilotama Bengfort (Camo) remarks at the Funeral Service for her brother Jagdesh

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08 Apr 2014 11:47 - 08 Apr 2014 11:58 #186412 by chairman
April 5, 2014

Lilotama Bengfort (Camo’s) remarks at the Funeral Service for her brother Jagdeshwar mo**nŀāŀl.

Bye, O baby Buntin

Daddy’s gone a huntin

A rosy wisp of cloud to win

To wrap his baby Buntin in

This is the last stanza of a familiar nursery rhyme, which my mother sang to the man we are honoring and saying farewell to today: Jagdeshwar mo**nŀāŀl. Baby Buntin became Bunny to all of us in his family, although many of you knew him as Jagdesh.

My name is Lilotama Bengfort, also known as Camo. I am Bunny’s sister and these are his brothers and sister. Since we rarely called him Jagdeshwar or Jagdesh, I’m sure you’ll understand if I use the names interchangeably.

On behalf of my mother, Serojnie mo**nŀāŀŀ Baisakhu, my brothers and my sister, I have the honor of sharing a few words, a collection of memories and experiences from his life which I hope will help us all acknowledge and share both our joy in the gift that his life was to us, and the pain that his passing brings. In sharing the joy and the pain together today, may we lessen the pain and remember more clearly the joy.

Jagdeshwar, was born in Cumberland, Guyana on February 17, 1955, the third of seven children (our toddler brother died before the rest of us six were born).

According to Mummy, Bunny was small and cute, with red hair and fair complexioned. Mummy said and I quote her "the rest of the children were not so cute..." She said that he looked more like daddy’s family. So, of course, they really liked that and embraced him to their hearts.

As a toddler, Bunny survived several mishaps. While he was in the care of a teenage Aunt, who was changing his diaper, Bunny grabbed the safety pin and swallowed it much to her shock. He was fed a lot of cotton ball and milk porridge and taken to the hospital, where he ran around up and down the halls as if nothing happened. The doctor told my mother she was lucky because X-rays showed the pin going down with the pointy side up, which prevented any injuries. Another time, he fell off the dresser table, out the window, and into a washtub. As you can see, he was a very active and determined little boy and I think mummy must have gotten rid of that dressing table after that.

Bunny had a very active boyhood. He played hide and seek, hiding behind the water tank and even in the latrine which seemed to be a perfect spot. He and Roop and the other boys picked guinip, mangoes, Starapple, and jammoon. They learned to Swim in the pond and garden trenches of Cumberland and would jump from mango branches right into pond. They played cricket using coconut tree branches as bats and evaporated milk tin cans, made as circular as possible to hit as balls. They played cricket on the paved street and when cars would come, they moved the wickets quickly.

Bunny was the fast bowler and this is where he learned his cricket playing skills that many of you know about.

My brothers also remember counting cars and seeing who had the most cars after 15 minutes. This was a good game because our house faced the public road.

They also fished in the long irrigation trench in the back yard, where Bunny and the other boys would make a mud dam and bail the water to the other side, and then they would catch the fish when they were stranded.

A favorite game was playing marbles, which they would do for buttons. As a result, our clothes often were missing buttons. Mummy was not a fan of this game: She had a sewing business and her expensive buttons often went missing.

Bunny showed from an early age that he was a hard and faithful worker.

He had several chores: One chore was to water the garden with the water can. The garden had tomatoes, eggplant--which he never liked-- squash, and pumpkin. Mussa and mummy’s brothers and sisters called him pumpkin...because of his hair color, so he had two nicknames and pumpkin was one vegetable he always liked.

We had fowl and chickens, so Bunny’s second chore was to be the executioner, which is surprising considering he was always soft hearted, but he did what had to be done. While he was known as a quiet boy, he was also very determined.

His third chore was to iron all the school clothes. He was very neat, and never wanted Roop to wear his clothes.

Bunny attended Teacher Annie kindergarten and Cumberland Methodist school. The teacher was a famous disciplinarian who was daddy's first cousin. Bunny would come home crying because he taught common entrance, where corporal punishment was usual, but Bunny made Mummy and daddy proud because he worked hard and qualified in his exams.

As Bunny grew older in Cumberland, he was known as our uncle's mailman. He was the carrier of love letters for these uncles on my father’s side because he was reliable and they trusted him to deliver the letters. He stayed this same reliable and trustworthy fellow all his life.

In 1968, we moved to New Amsterdam where Bunny attended Berbice High School. He excelled in high school, in both academics and sports where he was a long distance runner and won many trophies. He was handsome and athletic -- all the girls at Berbice High School liked him.

Fierce Inter high school competition did test our family loyalties, however. While Bunny and I attended Berbice High, Krishna and Roop attended BEI. This resulted in a dilemma for Krishna during one athletic competition--whether to go against his school and root for his brother or not. He chose to root for Bunny.

While living in New Amsterdam, our parents and other relatives immigrated to the United States. As a result, the Balwant and mo**nŀāŀŀ children lived together with our grandparents for several years. Bunny, Roop and our cousin Prakash would sneak out at night when our grandparents were sleeping and go swimming at the Pumping station where the canal was deeper. They would also sneak out to the movies at the Globe, Gaiety or Faz

Cinemas. And as teenage boys often do, would come home early in the morning and eat all the loaves of fresh baked bread made to last a week, in one night.

In 1973, Bunny immigrated to Canada, where he attended Shaw College and studied accounting. He stayed with his three mamoos: Bert, Haro, and Alan and their families.

He joined the rest of us in New York City late in 1974. We were glad he came, partly because Bunny was the brother with a car. He was the only one with a driver’s license. First was the Ford LTD, a car so nice that Bunny was stopped by police and asked how a young man can own such a car. Then there was the brand new Toyota Celica. This was a compact, sporty car, but we managed to get eight people in it, sitting on each other’s laps with another lying across the top. Truckers would give us funny looks, and we would disembark in layers.

Our father died in early 1975, which was a difficult time for all of us. Since Roop was in college in Iowa, Bunny was the one to handle the responsibilities at home. He stood behind mummy in the dark days and everything that she asked him, he did and did it happily and not begrudgingly. He took the time to drive her to work, then he would go to college at Adelphi University, go to work and then pick her up for a typical 15 hour day.

He also found the time to teach me and Roger to drive. We were probably some of his first students. He had the patience to teach people and the

courage to teach new drivers. He also taught Edna Puwa and Mummy to drive…and you know how good he had to be to do that.

Roger remembers after getting his driver’s license, Bunny gave him the keys to his brand new Toyota Celica. Roger was so excited, he could hardly wait to take mummy to work the next day. After getting up early every morning for a few weeks to take her to work, he realized it was work and perhaps how smart Bunny was!

In 1978, a new woman came into Bunny’s life.

After being approached by Ajah Balraj as to the eligibility of a beautiful girl in No. 64 Village, Bunny went down to Guyana to meet her. He greeted Lalita this way, “So I heard you want to get married.”

Bunny had gone to Guyana as he told us, a bit skeptical and anyway it would be a vacation. But, he must have been bowled over, because two weeks later he called to say he was sponsoring Lalita Totaram to get married. Lalita and her mother came in March 1979, and she and Bunny got married in Long Island 35 years ago.

Bunny and Lalita went on to have three children. Sadly, Andrew, the oldest, did not live beyond infancy. Joyfully, Amelia and Anthony are with us today and they are his Magnum Opus--his best, greatest, achievement.

Bunny graduated with an undergraduate degree in Accounting and Masters in Business Administration, which made us all proud. He was an auditor for

the New York State Comptroller's Office for over 20 years, an adjunct professor teaching accounting, a radio commentator, an entrepreneur who started his own accounting business as well as the Hollywood Real Estate Institute and YDK driving School in Queens. There was just something about Bunny and cars!

He was also a leader in the community and cared deeply about the people not only in his local community but in Guyana. In 1992, Bunny worked diligently to support free and fair elections in Guyana. He brought Leslie Ramsammy, then a candidate for President of Guyana, and others to meet with members of the U.S. Congress in Washington to petition their support for elections In Guyana. Even Cheddi Jagan was amazed that Ramsammy had such access to members of Congress.

Bunny staged and led a protest at the World Trade Center in New York to draw attention to the elections. He was joined by Krishna and many others here. He even got Randy and I involved writing and editing a newspaper to support Ramsammy’s campaign. Helping Guyana to have free and fair elections sparked his community interest and passion to give back.

He has given back to many personally and through his community involvement with the Indo-Caribbean Federation, the Civic Association, Berbice High School Alumni Association and other the cultural and business activities in the past 25 years.

All of us here have been touched by his life in some way through all of the experiences and memories I have shared here.

We loved him as a husband, as a brother, as a father and as a son. From his parents, Serojnie and mo**nŀāŀŀ Baisakhu, he received inspiration and values which he exhibited and shared with all of us. He gave us strength and loyalty in time of trouble, generosity in time of need, and sharing in time of happiness. He will always be by our side.

Love is not an easy feeling to put into words. Nor is loyalty, or trust or generosity. But he was all of these. What we in his family feel about him..what it really all adds up to is love… the kind of love that is affection and respect, encouragement, and support. Our awareness of this was a source of strength, and because real love is something unselfish and involves sacrifice and giving, we could not help but profit from it.

To paraphrase a famous man …My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life, but to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw need and tried to meet it, saw the need for freedom and tried to change it, saw his duty and tried to fulfill it.

The world is less rich without you Bunny. It is saddened as we are. I hope this is the story you wanted me to tell. I wish you were going to be here to write more of it with us.

We’re proud of all that you accomplished.

We’re proud to be your brother and sister.

We love you and we will miss you.

Always tell someone how you feel because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regret can last a lifetime.
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Last edit: 08 Apr 2014 11:58 by chairman.

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08 Apr 2014 11:50 #186413 by chairman
bunny 3 brothers and sister stood with her as she delivered her remarks.

Always tell someone how you feel because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regret can last a lifetime.
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08 Apr 2014 12:02 #186414 by ketchim
Excellent !

not too tear jerking at all ....had my box of Kleenex ready !

Camo lives in England or NA ?

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08 Apr 2014 12:10 #186417 by chairman
maryland

Always tell someone how you feel because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regret can last a lifetime.
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  • niagreuno
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08 Apr 2014 12:16 #186418 by niagreuno
Such beautiful words & wonderful memories! Your brother seemed to have lived his life to the fullest!

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  • VillageBelle
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08 Apr 2014 12:28 #186426 by VillageBelle
What a beautiful and moving testimonial to the life of your brother!

I can see all of you sitting together telling these stories as your sister write.

I am sure there are many more wonderful memories and hopefuly they bring solace to you and your family as you reminisce!

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08 Apr 2014 12:46 #186433 by chairman
He had several chores: One chore was to water the garden with the water can. The garden had tomatoes, eggplant--which he never liked.

googs,

thats two of us in family who didnt like baigan :P

Always tell someone how you feel because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regret can last a lifetime.
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08 Apr 2014 12:51 #186436 by chairman
door bell just rang.  i am not expecting anyone.

delivery of a floral basket from my job.

Always tell someone how you feel because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regret can last a lifetime.
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08 Apr 2014 13:06 #186437 by niagreuno
That's so sweet Krish

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08 Apr 2014 14:01 #186446 by ketchim
Nice touch !  8)

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