Words of wisdom and other sundries

A  husband should try to make his wife panties wet but not her eyes .
A wife should try to make her husband dick hard but not his life

hah hah :-[ :-[ :-[

you are a scholar

Two young men appeared before a judge on Ganja charges . The prosecutor was asking for 3 month sentences
The judge was liberal and suggested that instead of jail time , the two should go out and convince people not to do drugs and depending on the amount of people the convince , he will dish out the appropriate sentence . He gave them 2 weeks

After two weeks they both reported back .
Judge to first defendant " how many did you convince "  ?
" 17 your honor " he replied . The judge was impressed
"How did you do it? "
" I drew a  two circles , a large  one and a small one . The  large one represent your brain before drugs and the small one , after drugs"
"And now to you young man , how many did you convince"? asked the judge .
" 120 people ' he replied
The judge was now really impressed , " How did you do it? "
" I too also drew a small circle and a large circle . The small circle represent your a**hole before prison and the large circle represent your a**hole after prison"

Raju was a simple canecutter  raising his boy Ramjeet  12 years  of age alone . When  the boy was 6 his wife left him and took off with a hire car driver . On this here  New years day he cooked  a small duck with Dhall and rice and the Two of them ate lunch with lots left over for dinner .
Raju sauntered over to the rumshop and with his friend Gopal and polished off a half XM rum .  Ramjeet went to play bumper ball wid his friends .
Ramjeet came home first and  took a piece of meat it tasted so good  and then another and another until just a wing and two neck bones  were left .He knew now that he was in big trouble and started to panic .
An idea hit him . He took some gravy and daubed it on the dog mouth and a sigh of relief came over him .
His dad came home with a Quata in his back pocket  hungry and anticipating a hearthy meal an imagine the shock when he open the Carahee . He grabbed his son and slap him across the head .. " you ungrateful skunt , Me go kill you skunt".
  Ramjeet" Daddy look pan de dawg ''. 
When Raju saw the gravy on the dog mouth he apologised to his son
He poured out a drink and made much with the food and then lay down in the hammock
Ramjeet must be thinking how smart he was . suddenly  Raju popped up from the Hummock . "This a wan  smart dawg . he eat out all the duck and then put back the lid on the pot . 
Ramjeet sensed trouble and took off over the bridge on to road . His father grabbed a shovel stick and took off after him and down the road they go . The boy was like Usaint Bolt with his daddy about 20 paces behind cussin with every step  "Yo mudda skunt only  ah think about youself afta me wuk so haad chopping cane" . 
He threw the stick at him and tripped the boy but without missing a beat he landed on his feet and took off again .
On the way back he stopped in on the rumshop and polished off another Quata and  staggered home enjoying a deep slumber in the hommock