here's a story that was told to me
"when I was a lil kid, father freshly dead, mother incapacitated on my own. deh descended pon the house like vultures..all his and her relatives..aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters and their chirren..all ah dem looking fuh ah piece of what he left..or all of what he left.
but wat about me
that was when I walked away from religion. the spectre of the horrific future for me had arisen and I was questioning god. not that the past had been better but there seemed a chance. all the more reason to ask god why..phucking why ::confused::
skunt god had no ansah. I tried to find one in faith. none. then I tried logic taking into consideration the reality I saw around me ::confused:: but where did dat lead.....
the only such ansah from truth is dat there was no god. but from what followed for my my ansah is that there is no god . but be he deh or not, phuck him for he had done me no favor taking my father away. god had never done me a favor previously. and now all and every chance I had in in my estimation was lost. I cud not see the point so I phucked off with and from god and his religions/religion/religious
but most crucially I saw humans. that is what I saw..humans and how we are..right there in my family and all those around. my reaction was totally destructive until such time as I saw that it was not possible to live any kind of civilized life without a positive approach to life regardless. so I began to look at life broadly and began on my own to come up with what is now called Marxism on my own.
when I found Marxism in Canadian universities I recognized that I had found ti on my own..and ultimately that Marxism itself came out of my own heritage as a black man for that is where such ideas originated and ultimately found its way to Europe, and through Europe to Marx and Engels and beyond.
but the stunning insight into humanity I realized back in those early days became only clearer, wider, all encompassing. that is who we are..flesh and blood, animals, born as we are insecure dependent and totally at the mercy of nature and all in it, until such time as we came to understand. at which point we cud choose to live by coming into line with what we found out..or try to control nature, enslave and torture its skunt, into making it do fuh we all we needed done..rather than doing to us the ragamuffin works we were from the start. aftah all we did not ask to be born..and certainly not the way we evolved, from crawling vermin, lizard on the ground, fish in the warters and so on.
nature itself is the cause of humanity. nature make we so. if there is evil in existence it is nature it-fuckin'self. and bwoy! let me tell allyuh there is evil..plenty of it..totally evil. its the way humanity is..EVIL itself. and as such we must be like, are like our parent..NATURE.
and there is nutten we can do to nature because nature is too large and powerful..and stupid. which is why we are not only evil but stupid too...massively..indocrine stupid, methodically, inbred stupid... just like nature. maybe nature is trying to get smart leading to sch as we through a zillion steps from small to large. but nature is so phucking defective that it cant evolve smart beings jess like that its trial and error all the way until such time as it gets it right.
in the meantime is humans, and humans again, up from the creepy crawlies in the dust, wild nooks and crevices of existence until we get upright and Sapienized.
yes to the point at which we stand up then start to make bombs and planes to drop them on each other. till we learn to kill on industrial scale and so kill humans like making products fuh sale instead of killing each other. until we make bombs so big we blow up where we live and the whole spacial quadrant in which our planet exists.
but stupid, jackass nature doh care...make we dumb anyway. can only make we dumb because nature itself is dumbness personified. we go blow up the milky way and what does it matter to nature? nutten at all..not even a pinprick. you might as well as take out yuh prick and try to Phuck nature, for all the good dat wud do"
allyuh tink it sorf
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