INSIDE THE WI DRESSING ROOM: PART 6
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A dejected CLIVE LLOYD enters the West Indies dressing room.
LLOYD: Okay guys, I've called this emergency meeting to discuss the Sunil Narine situation. As you all know, Sunil's bowling action has been deemed in breech of ICC regulations-
SULIEMAN BENN: God dammit!
JEROME TAYLOR: Racism!
KEMAR ROACH: Insularity!
JEROME TAYLOR: Why they always picking on the black man!?
DENESH RAMDIN: Guys...Narine is an Indian.
JEROME TAYLOR: Wait, I thought he Guyanese?
KRISHMAR SANTOKIE: No, Narine's Trinidadian. He only plays for Guyana. Like me.
JEROME TAYLOR: Wait, you not Guyanese?
KRISHMAR SANTOKIE: No, I'm Jamaican.
JEROME TAYLOR: You a Yardie!?
KRISHMAR SANTOKIE: Of course.
JEROME TAYLOR: What the hell, man? I thought you an Indian
KRISHMAR SANTOKIE: No
KEMAR ROACH: What kinda Yardie name is Krishmar?
KRISHMAR SANTOKIE: What kinda human name is Roach?
KEMAR ROACH: Man, kiss my ass!
KRISHMAR SANTOKIE: Come make me, you Bajan piece of s**t!
KEMAR ROACH: F**k you!
LLOYD: Guys, please, we're getting sidetracked here.
KEMAR ROACH: Sorry.
KRISHMAR SANTOKIE: Sorry boss.
LLOYD: As I was saying, it seems unlikely that Sunil will be able to remedy his problems in time for the World Cup. Our technicians have begun developing new stealth technology to cloak his bowling action, but we're still a long way away from producing a working prototype.
DENISH RAMDIN: (rubbing chin) If only there was a way to pelt and not be detected.
MARLON SAMUELS enters the West Indies dressing room.
MARLON SAMUELS: Wagwan?
DENISH RAMDIN: Speak of the devil! Marlon how'd you get away with pelting for so long?
MARLON SAMUELS: Well, when Marlon bowl, Jah take control.
DENISH RAMDIN: Well, with Narine banned, you're going to have to do a lot more bowling for us
LLOYD: He's right, Marlon. With Sunil out, you and Chris become our front-line spinners.
MARLON SAMUELS: Marlon understan'
CHRIS GAYLE enters the West Indies dressing room.
CHRIS GAYLE: Understand what?
JASON HOLDER: You are Marlon are now the team's dedicated spin bowlers.
CHRIS GAYLE: Wait now boss...two Jamaican yuh wan spin we through the world cup?
LLOYD: That's the idea, Chris.
CHRIS GAYLE: Hah, hah, hah.
LLOYD: Is that a problem?
CHRIS GAYLE: No problem, man. We ah Yardie, we luv to party, we ah big up the legend Bab Marley, fight for rights like Marcus Garvey, wipe you out like a likkle tsunami.
LLOYD: I'll take that as a 'yes'. Next on the agenda is the Dwayne Bravo and Kieron Pollard fiasco. As you know, Pollard and Bravo have been dropped from the world cup squad-
SULIEMAN BENN: God dammit!
JEROME TAYLOR: Racism!
KEMAR ROACH: Insularity!
JEROME TAYLOR: Why they always picking on the black man!?
DENISH RAMDIN: Guys, Pollard is married to an Indian and Bravo is Jewish Orthodox.
KEMAR ROACH: What the hell? Dwayne is a Jew?
DENISH RAMDIN: His real name Dwayne Burgenstein.
KEMAR ROACH: That explains it.
SULIEMAN BENN: What? The money walk-out?
KEMAR ROACH: No, the circumcision.
JASON HOLDER: Guys, I think the larger issue here is that our World Cup squad has now lost three Trinidadian players.
JEROME TAYLOR: You're right-
KEMAR ROACH: We might actually have a chance this time!
JEROME TAYLOR: Victory is ours!
SULIEMAN BENN: (rubbing chin) If only we could think of another Trinidadian to drop.
Darren Bravo enters the West Indies dressing room, panting heavily.
BRAVO: Fellas! Fellas! I figure out why I been batting badly lately
JASON HOLDER: Huh?
BRAVO: My problem is, I'm not stylish enough. What I need is more style. That's why I invented a new, revolutionary, never-before-seen shot!
RAMDIN: (sigh) What kind of shot?
BRAVO: I call it the reverse, reverse sweep
RAMDIN: The reverse, reverse sweep?
BRAVO: Exactly.
RAMDN: A reverse, reverse sweep is just a regular sweep, Bravo
BRAVO: No it aint
RAMDIN: Yes it is
BRAVO: NO IT AINT!
RAMDIN: YES IT IS, you directionally challenged idiot. If you driving a car, which direction you going?
BRAVO: Forward
RAMDIN: And if you reverse, which direction you go?
BRAVO: Backward
RAMDIN: And if you reverse your reversal of your car, which direction you going?
BRAVO: Forward
RAMDIN: EXACTLY
BRAVO: But that's not the same thing
RAMDIN: How's that not the same thing?
BRAVO: Cos' I reversing my reverse sweep
RAMDIN: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME MAN
BRAVO: What's wrong?
RAMDIN: GET OUT!
BRAVO: But I just want to be special
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